Sorry for the delayed post today but I’m on work travel. Which actually leads me to my update on anxiety and depression. As I mentioned in my last post I really started feeling better at my friend Stephanie’s family band show on Sunday. Again not sure if it was the show, the Wellbutrin, but I suspect both. I am feeling even better today but I have to admit I am still not in the happy state I was before the downturn. Interesting though my anxiety is lower. To back up, I love to fly even post 9/11 I have never been an anxious flyer. Ever since having kids that has changed. I have never been afraid to die. I wasn’t suicidal but I just didn’t care. Having kids changed all that. I wasn’t afraid of dying for me, but the thought of not being there for my wife and most especially my kids, terrified me. My job does require me to travel semi often. Yes this is my fourth visit to Ithica in the last year. So now every time I travel I get very anxious. Maybe my plane will crash or I’ll get into some accident driving in the middle of nowhere North Dakota in the winter. But not this time, I had absolutely no anxiety about this trip. The only time anything remotely entered my mind was when Melissa insisted on me showing her exactly where I planted everything. And I did say, what you have some bad intuition about my trip? She was like no, I just want to know so when you forget in two weeks I can tell you. But seriously this is the first trip I have taken since Josh was born that I have had no anxiety. So my anxiety seems more managed but I’m still not as happy as I had been, and now that I have experienced that, I desperately want to get back there. As I also mentioned in my last post I promised Stepanie’s daughter I would write a story where Red has a daughter, and this kid is just too adorable to refuse. My mood has improved enough that I was able to write a good chunk of one. I still haven’t written an Egret story yet and I need to get on it since I promised one for Josh tomorrow night. As long as my plane doesn’t get severely delayed I’ll be home for bedtime so I better get cracking on an Egret story tonight! I apologize if there are even more typos than usual this post was written entirely on my iPad.
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