Ok I am back from my trip. Melissa is showering the boys so I am doing a quick post, before she has to run out and I put the kids to bed. I don’t talk about my job on here, but I have two types of trips I typically go on. One is fine usually involves me training people, which I love, the other is more of the life sucking variety. Without going into any details this was a suck the life out of you kind of trip. But if you read my last post you know I had no anxiety about the trip. And I didn’t even have any about the return. It was actually pretty funny, I was waiting at the gate under a TV, trying to write an Egret story and CNN is doing a story on just how bad TSA sucks, and how much they miss. Honestly it didn’t even faze me. So I am definitely seeing and overall lowering of my anxiety levels. Even though it was a the soul sucking variety trip, I never felt anxious about anything. So I am counting that as a win. Something is still not right though. I am depressed. Again I am feeling worlds better than I was, but I seemed to have plateaued at a still relatively depressed state. Nothing that my best fake it till you make it smile can’t hide. But I haven’t found the balance.
Sadly I did not keep my promise to Josh and finish an Egret story. It was not for a lack of trying. I actually wrote a lot, but this is a huge story compared to everything else. This will definitely be a stand alone book, which I will have to work on in chunks. In the mean time I have some ideas for smaller stories, so hopefully I will have another one out soon.
I have an appointment with my Psychiatrist on Monday, so I’m debating the idea of just dealing with the depression until Monday, or reach out sooner….
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