Lately I have received a lot of questions asking me why I am being so open about the Anxiety, mild depression and ADHD and aren’t I afraid it will hurt my career. For the record I have received far more compliments, thanking me for my openness and honesty. Not to mention a tremendous amount of support. But the question has been asked enough that I want to attempt to address it. I will start with the second part of the question. Yes, I am worried it will effect my career. Not so much at my current job. I have been there for 8 1/2 years, started as a temp, was hired on full-time in about a month and have had at least 4 promotions in that time period. Now if at some point I shop my skills around which honestly I am not planning on in the near future, I do worry. Recruiters and hiring managers google stalk their candidates. I know it, its wrong, it shouldn’t happen, but it does. They get way to much access to protected information and the internet is not a reliable source of information. And of course there is always the possibility that who you think you are googling is not who you are googling – Feel free to read my post Not an 80′s Actor, No seriously I’m not.
The first part of the question is more complicated especially in light of the fact I know it can impact my career, even though it shouldn’t because my track record more than speaks for itself. The fact of the matter is for more years than I care to admit, I denied there was a problem. I refused to accept it because it was taboo. In the last month, since starting treatment, I have felt calmer and more at peace than I have in my entire life. But I had refused to admit there was a problem and spent way too much of my life needlessly in pain, and for what? Ego. Fear that someone might not think I am the perfect picture of metal health. The shame of something that should not be taboo and is treatable. So that is why I talk about it. It shouldn’t be taboo, hidden and just suffered through. I spent too many years in needless pain and I know there are far too many people out there in the same position, just needing the right shove or encouragement. If at the end of the day, if I just end up helping one person with my story, then I will never regret sharing it.
I like to think of myself as a pretty logical person, skeptical in many ways. But I believe in G-d and some sort of universal plan. Ever since I was a little kid I felt there was something I was supposed to be doing, some plan for me. Part of me even wonders it is the reason I am still alive – I really shouldn’t have survived a good long period of dangerously reckless behavior. But I did. And when I saw each of my boys I saw pieces of that puzzle. The My Place in the Universe puzzle, for lack of a better term. I think I figured out another large piece of it this week. Over the last month thousands of people have read my Egret the Elephant poems/stories and/or my battle with Anxiety, depression and ADHD. My ego would love to believe that I can change the world. Become a successful children’s writers and make millions of kids and parents happy. That through my honestly about my battles I can and will help lots of people, stop this from being taboo. Who knows, maybe I can, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. I know I have helped people, I know I have made people happy. Maybe I’m not meant change the wold, but G-d wiling I will change my piece of it.
Great post. I think in this crazy internet driven world the powers that be will find out what they want to find out whether you share it on a blog or not.
And maybe they will see that the fact that you own it, and deal with it, makes you a WAAAAY better employee than someone living in denial.
Kudos to you and hope you continue to feel better!
Janine
Janine recently posted…How to Properly Fit Your Child’s Bike Helmet
Thanks Janine
Corey Feldman recently posted…TMI Q&A – my battle with Anxiety, depression and ADHD
Hey Corey,
I suffer the same 3 with some OCD thrown into the mix. I have been trying to find a medication that helps and does not make me feel like a zombie.
Anyway, I am in grad school for my Masters right now, and in my last class, we were learning about connections between the brain, and movement, and things that affect children’s brains and their learning.
One thing that I learned was the affect of mercury on the brain. Holy s###!!! Google mercury/heavy metals and it’s side effects… It is amazing how many negative things it causes. I had mercury fillings and that is the same time my anxiety, etc started. I recently have had them removed and changed to the other type/mercury free. My anxiety is virtually gone…could be sefl-fulfilling, but I am getting my levels checked anyway.
As far as sharing too much, I don’t think you have. Everyone has a touch of all of these things, and the fact that you are now being proactive is huge!!
Hope all is well,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie an I hope you find you balance. Yeah I know I had some mercury exposure as a kid. Dad was a dentist and I remember playing with the little silver balls. I will have to see what research is out there on that. Thanks for the comment!
Corey Feldman recently posted…TMI Q&A – my battle with Anxiety, depression and ADHD
I think we need to talk about these things in order to remove the stigma from them. I suffer from depression, although it is well-controlled with medication. I am fortunate to have missed the anxiety portion of the program.
That you can still function and write and create should be a testament to your talent and work ethic.
Megan recently posted…Wall, Meet Head
Thank you. For me the anxiety supersedes the depression. And I thank for your commenting and sharing. This is a stigma that needs to be removed from out society.
Corey Feldman recently posted…Egrets first sleepover
Just wanted to show some support for your openness. Not enough people in our field are open and honest about difficult things like this even though it affects such a large part of the population. More importantly, few men talk about it openly. Sadly I think that is why the suicide rate is much higher for men than women.
I, too, suffer from depression and anxiety but have been able to control them with meds for years so my work was unaffected. However the super fun part of being a woman is that when you are trying get pregnant you should stop taking anxiety and depression meds. There are plenty of times in the past month that I wished I was a man so I didn’t have to choose between my mental health and the health of a yet-to-be-conceived child. Then again, I know anxiety/depression are illnesses that affect the whole family. I know it’s very difficult for my husband to accept that when I have an anxiety attack there’s nothing he can do to stop it. I’m sure he feels as helpless as I do. When I get down about it I just stop and think that it could be worse. I can’t imagine anything worse than schizophrenia or dementia. I’ll take my battle with anxiety over those illnesses any day. Keep up the fight, and don’t be afraid to try new meds. I was lucky and found the right ones on the first try (with a few dosage adjustments) but it takes some people 4 or 5 tries to get the right combo.
Breanne Harris recently posted…How Can You Train Better Decision Making and Problem Anticipation?
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry you are going through this. I do however wish you the best on your efforts! Kids are worth it.