I know I haven’t updated much lately in the way of the whole Depression, ADHD, and Anxiety thing. There have been two reasons for this. First I am job hunting. This isn’t a secret at work, I have been reduced to 3 days as week. My boss is hoping we get more business before I find another job, but she is aware I am on the job market and need to be to effectively support my family. The other reason is I am doing great. I am happier on average than I ever been in my life, even facing the downsizing and some other drama not meant for public consumption. So I clearly have found a good balance with the anti depression meds. I am also calmer than I have ever been n my life. So the anti anxiety meds are doing their job. I have been working hard to learn healthier coping strategies, so I can eventually come off or reduce the anti-anxiety meds. And finally the ADHD seems to be under much better control now that I am back on Ritalin. Essentially I feel great and there hasn’t been as much of a need to post continual updates to that effect. The only real downside is I haven’t been able to run as much, because some of the meds make me drowsy in the morning and evening when I typically run. But I’m confident I will figure that out as well.
The job hunt is going OK. I haven’t been at it that long and have already had a bunch a telephone interviews. Sadly so far they haven’t been in a pay range I would consider. Shocking I know but I am not taking a position that pays the same for full-time as I am making working 3 days a week. I have applied for a bunch of Government positions, but they take forever to fill. August is a terrible time to job hunt in general since so many people take vacations this month. I’ll be at the beach next week myself, which I am really looking forward to. If I feel relaxed now I a can’t wait to see how I feel at the beach, the one place in the world that almost always manages to relax me.
The kids are doing well. They did gross me out by dipping pears in ketchup last night. Then we had a conversation I wasn’t sure we (or I) were ready to have, but we tried to answer it as honestly as possible. My wife’s computer station is actually in our dinning room and there is a picture screensaver running. A picture of my mom came up which triggered the conversation. Why did Grammy die. How old was she when she died. I told them that people die when their brains stop working. I gave them a few examples of why the brain might stop working. Then I explained in Grammy’s case there was a blood vessel that wasn’t made right and broke. Josh followed up with why would that make her brain stop working and I explained that the brain needs the oxygen in the blood to keep working. I wasn’t sure they were ready for this, but they kept asking questions and seemed very mater of fact about it and unfazed by the answers. So maybe it was time to have a more in depth conversation. Which I guess wraps right back around to the whole anxiety thing. last month I would not have been able to have that conversation, at least not as relaxed as I was. Which in turn, I hope, better enabled them to handle/process the conversation.