Feeling like a really crapy Dad
Joshua is going through a mommy only stage. If Melissa is home, he wants nothing to do with me. We are fine if it is just the two of us, but if he knows Melissa is anywhere around, he will have a fit until she picks him up. I know I am not around as much I would like. But it is not like he doesn’t know who I am, he sees me every morning. I try to give him his bottle. And at least once or twice a week I get home in time to see him before bed. While I may not be so good at the work life balance during the week, I am home most weekends. My two working theories are 1) he remembers that I am the one who held him down when he got his shots. 2) He associates me with Melissa leaving e.g. she will need some down time on the weekend, or is teaching toga class at night, and he he knows he is getting the B team. Of course there is also the third possibility that it is just a phase and he will be back to Daddy Daddy Daddy in no time, well Dada was his first word.
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It IS just a phase. Eventually, the tides will turn, as they did with Caroline, and all will be as you wish it were right now. I think at his age, wanting to be around one parent versus the other is completely normal. He will begin to look forward to weekends because he will know that no matter what, something fun is in store with Daddy. And just for the record, I don’t think it was the shots, so don’t beat yourself up there too much. In those circumstances, I believe it’s “out of sight, out of mind” in that he does remember that experience when confronted with it at the doctor’s office, but I’m sure it’s not something that he dwells on past the next little while or so. In the meantime, just keep trying to make each time that you can spend with him special – take the time to read with him rather than rush to get him to bed because the clock says it’s bedtime. Even that extra 5 minutes can help him reconnect with you at the end of the day, and get him psyched about seeing you again in the morning. Sounds like you are already on the right track with the weekends – taking him on some fun adventure, even if it’s just to run errands with you. Caroline loves that right now… Great post, by the way.
Thank you – it has been turning! We had a really good week; I was able to spend a lot of time with him over the weekend. Part of the problem is I typically get home after he has already gone to bed during the week, but I am trying to spend more time with him in the mornings and work load permitting get home at least once or twice before his bedtime. This morning he woke up early, Melissa got him, and when she put him on the floor, he toddled right over to our bedroom to get me up. He even reached for me while Melissa was holding him which he hadn’t done in weeks. So things are looking better. He had leaked through this Diaper this morning, so while Melissa was changing his crib and getting laundry together, I took him down and made him breakfast. We had a great time. It has been good to bond again…