As I was leaving Josh’s bedroom he managed to keep me in conversation mode for a full 1/2 hour. I have no doubt it was a stall tactic about going to sleep, but it was amazing. Somehow the conversation started about cats. Which lead to the question of where are Schrodi and Sebastian’s parents. To which I said I don’t know, someone rescued them when they were just born and I adopted them. Then he switched the topic to human adoption. I didn’t even have a clue he knew what that was. So of course he wanted to know why a mommy or daddy would give up their baby. I really wasn’t prepared to have that conversation with a 6 year old. The only thing that popped into my head was – Well maybe they were too young to really be able to take care of the baby. He thought about that for a second and then asked. If they were too young, why did they get pregnant? I stopped for a several seconds and decided to be truthful – Sometimes that happens by accident. He asked how, and I tried to change to subject by saying you and Elijah were planned. We tried to have you. He asked how again and I paused, really contemplating on what to say. Thankfully he then gave me an out. He asked how again, but added – Did you wish for us? So I answered completely honestly – We wished for you both very hard. He was placated by that response.
So I inch closer to the door, and he fired another shot. He wanted to know how Grammy (my mom) died. He wasn’t satisfied with my standard answer that there was a part inside her brain that broke and it wasn’t able to be fixed. So I decided to explain just how an aneurysm works. He seemed to follow the simplified explanation I gave him. But then he threw a bigger one at me, How did she get it. I said she was probably born with it, since her father had a faulty blood vessel in his brain as well. He then asked – so if people are related they can have the same thing happen. I said yes, waiting for it – Is that going to happen to you? I explained that no, I had pictures taken of my brain, like and X-ray and all of my blood vessels are fine. So then he asked if you can get it other ways. I said yes, doing unhealthy things like smoking can cause it. He said in a pretty mater of fact statement – Smoking is why Zadie (Melissa’s Grandfather) died. I said probably. So he then asked me why they made cigarettes, if they can kill you. I said, I don’t know, but I hope it is something you are smart enough to never do.
He nodded and I inched closer to the door, when he asked me if Zadie’s Neshama (soul) was already in another body. I told him I didn’t know. Then he said, but when your Neshama is in another body, your new body doesn’t remember the old one – it keeps the memories a secret. I said I don’t know. Some people claim they can remember with a sort of meditation. But I honestly don’t know. Then he wanted to know if Grammy was in a new body. I said I didn’t think so. Why he asked. Just a feeling I said. But he was persistent. I said I don’t know for sure, but if it were me, I would want to watch you and Elijah and your cousins Molly and Caroline grow up. He added and you and Aunt Carrie and Uncle Stephen? I said, yes, we are her children. He then wanted to know how she could watch over us. I said that was a very good question. He then blurts out, its because Hashem (G-d) is everywhere and maybe she can see through Hashem. I said, that is a great theory Josh, but we don’t know for sure. But I think you are right and its a beautiful way to look things.
I turned off the light and closed his door. He tried again through the doorway, but at that point I just left it at good night love.