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8 years and 2 kids later – Happy Anniversary Love

I read a lot of anniversary posts on blogs and Facebook.  Most seem to paint what I have to believe is an unrealistic representation of their realities.  Heck I have even seen those flowery, X years of perfect marriage posts with couples who seperate that same year.  So that’s not what I am posting. It’s been 8 years and about an hour or so.  There have been a lot of ups and downs. Good times and bad. Financial challenges and more comfortable times.  We have said things we don’t mean and have neglected to say things we do. It’s been 8 years of tremendous change. From where we live (OK we are still close to Tuckerman, just now on the Potomac side instead of the condo in the Gables), to our circle of friends, work and family ties.  We lost two cats and added 1. OK Sebastian was before we were married.  We brought two amazing children into this world. We work hard to nurture the better qualities they got from us and mitigate the worst. We have gone from very secular lives to belonging to a Modern Orthodox Shul. My path has taken me farther and faster down that road, and I acknowledge and am sorry for the challenges that has created for us at times.  We don’t always communicate the way we should. That is a fault on both of our ends.  I am not airing dirty laundry in this post, you know how your communication needs to change and I know the same for mine.  Let’s face it, neither of us are angles. And while we are very different in many ways we do have some incredibly important similarities.  One of the most important ones is a desire to grow and change. To be better people, spouses and parents.  Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we fight. Sometime we let our egos get in the way. We have other similarities as well. Sometimes that can be a challenge. I mean is it even genetically possible that are kids won’t inherent a stubborn streak?

But personally I think the differences are a large part of the real strength of our marriage. They compliment each other.  I don’t care what meds I take or what dosage it is at, I will always be ADD.  That means I can go from the absent minded professor to the obsessed workaholic that barely realizes I have been working and/or creating for 36 hour straight. You, my love, are order in a bottle.  Powerfully frustrating for both of us at times, but the crucial balance we both need to, well, find balance.  I know its hard to always see, but I do learn and benefit from your order and control. And you my love benefit from my spontaneity and ability to let life happen. Sometimes it is OK to through the plan out the window. What’s the saying – we plan and Hashem laughs.  You spend too much time in your body and I spend too much time in my head. But together, united, we have an amazing mind/body ratio/balance. There is much more, but when it comes down to it, what I am really saying is, together we are more than the sum of our parts. So no false platitudes of perfection. Just the reality. I love you and you are a part of me. Sometimes my better half, sometimes not, but always my other half.

Happy Anniversary love.

Posted from Potomac, Maryland, United States.